It was not often that I had to work on New Year's Eve, but I didn't mind too much. At least it meant I'd get a clear four days off work, not being due back until January the 5th. On my way home I popped into our local off-license to stock up. As usual we would be seeing the New Year in with the Banks, and a couple who lived opposite. And this year, with my wife Tricia's best friend, whose husband was working away in Saudi Arabia and wouldn't be home till late January.
Tricia was very close to Jennifer, who'd been staying in our spare room since Christmas Eve. She was a good laugh, but sometimes I had the feeling that Trish had said things to Jennifer which I would have preferred to stay secret. Certain things which happen in a bedroom which SHOULD stay between a man and his wife! I couldn't prove it off course, but occasionally I'd catch Jennifer looking at me in a strange way, as if I had been the topic of discussion between the two of them. Maybe I was being paranoid?
Still, I decided to put it to the back on my mind. It was New Year's Eve, the end of an excellent year for me. Promotion, being awarded the Area Salesman of the Year prize and being able to afford the new kitchen extension, something we'd been wanting for years. So this time, I decided to splash out a bit and I added a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne to my growing basket of booze. And why not? It was high time we celebrated a little!
I arrived home, gave Trish a peck on the cheek and said "Hello" to Jennifer. I started unloading the box of assorted bottles and tried to arrange them in the fridge. Which wasn't easy as there was already quite a bit of food in there! But the champagne had to be chilled, as did the lager for Jerry Banks and the white wine for the women. I rearranged a few things, including a Pyrex jug of apple juice, and somehow managed to get it all in. I closed the fridge door triumphantly: this was going to be some party!
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I looked at my watch: 11:56pm. Nearly time! The party was in full swing and everyone was having a great time. Even Jerry and Anne Banks seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was unusual! Trish seemed to have spent most of the evening with Jennifer, like she didn't have time enough during the day. But the champagne beckoned, so I headed towards the kitchen.
But Trish grabbed hold of my arm, "And just where are YOU off too?". I tapped my watch, "Time to open the champers ready for midnight!". Trish pushed me back forcibly. "Oh we'll do that, won't we Jennifer? You stay there and look after the Banks". I pursed my lip. "No, it isn't easy opening champagne", I protested, "I think I'd better do it, dear.". But Trish was having none of it. "No, darling, you must stay here. I'm sure Jennifer and I can manage to open a ruddy bottle!". They both laughed derisively and disappeared into the kitchen, closing the door firmly behind them.
The dying moments of the old year were ticking away. I looked at my watch; less than a minute to go. What the hell was keeping them? I was just about to go the kitchen when the living room door burst open. They had the silver tray which Trish and I had received as a wedding present, on which stood 7 full glasses of champagne. What a sight! They moved towards me and I instinctively reached out my hand. Then I remembered my manners and gestured to Anne to pick up a glass. "Oh don't be silly!", said Jennifer, picking up the glass from the middle of the tray and pushing it firmly into my hand.
Soon everyone had a glass of champagne and Jerry Banks started to count out the dying moments of the Old Year. "4...3....2....1.....Happy New Year everyone. Here's to Friendship!". Everyone chorused "Friendship!" and took a sip from their glasses, then we all broke into spontaneous cheering. But somehow I felt that something was not quite right.
The champagne was certainly chilled but it seemed to taste odd. It had an AWFUL bouquet as well. Yet it was good stuff; Moet & Chandon. I glanced around. Everyone else was knocking it back like water, so maybe it was just me? Just then I became aware of 2 pairs of eyes drilling into me. I looked up just in time to catch Jennifer and Trish staring at me intently. Jennifer looked away. "Everything alright?", said Trish, in a peculiar sort of way like she expected me to find something not 'alright'. She moved close to me and kissed me gently on the cheek. "Happy New Year, Darling. Here's to a wet one!".
Then it dawned on me. As a familiar smell started to form on my breath, I realised exactly what was in my glass. I felt myself blushing uncontrollably! I whispered as gently as I could, given the circumstances, into Trish's ear. "It's piss isn't it? You've got me drinking chilled piss in front of Jennifer and our neighbours, haven't you?". She simply nodded. I felt my cock harden. What a way to see in a New Year. To be there on the stroke of midnight drinking your wife's piss in front of all your friends! Yet I had to hand it to her: it had come as a complete surprise, executed with almost military precision. I cast my mind back to the Pyrex jug in the fridge - of COURSE, neither of us drank apple juice!
I still couldn't quite take it all in, and just stood there in awe and admiration. And frankly I had to stand there, until 'things' became a little more flaccid. But just then, a horrifying thought occurred to me. I bent down and whispered again, "Trish love, you didn't let Jennifer see you pee into the jug, did you?". Trish looked up at me in astonishment. "But darling, I didn't say that it was MY piss, did I?". She looked across at Jennifer on the other side of the room. She was staring intently back at us, and my jaw dropped as I looked into my half empty glass. Jennifer raised her glass and shouted back at me, "Cheers!". Automatically, I raised my glass politely, said "Cheers" back and sipped at my drink.
I never did find out whose chilled piss I had been drinking that night. - The End -Copyright 1997 by John Martin. All Rights Reserved.
John Martin Stories